People love judging and so do I .. sometimes. They only see us outside. They look how we act, react on something and how we bring ourself in society. They do not know about you.. cz I see that every person has they own secret from everybody. For example, I do not share my anger with the public. They only know when I got such a bad mood or overeating hahaha LOL.
Why I share this today? I just got bored with my routines, and I realized that I could not make any friends more and more. Life is not just about how many.. but how it feels. The real friends are only a few of the people I know in my entire life. It doesn’t mean that I am anti-social. In my expression, I called myself is good in making friends in social life (socialization).. but only have few real friends. I saw many things as I get older than a few years ago. Many people just act well to you temporarily only because they need you.. not pure.
Another example, in my work life. I am a single fighter in my role.. only me. All the team depends on me for the customer’s payment responsibility. I always have pressure to work in high pace to all the side. If I don’t, maybe I will contribute to the bad relationship between salesperson and customer. I think sometimes, why should I understand them when they are begging for me to proceed it as soon as possible huh? Do they ever understand my situation? Sometimes, I have that in my mind. Some of them act friendly and polite. Some of them.. make a ‘close to me’ strategy then push me.
They always threatened me with their sales, bad relationship, and so on. Deep inside. I stress with those their ‘business.’ I already did what I supposed to do, and it is not that simple. I only have two hands two feet, and please be patient. I am working on that every day.. to make it fast.. for you. I know I am not enough.. this is how we work man. We all have to be patient and understand where we are. I rarely care about what they think about me.
Look, there are plenty of things that I couldn’t explain to all of you about my situations. These are my point of view. I have the case that causes me demotivated or unwilling to give my best because of the company’s regulation sometimes. I knew this is my weak point because it’s my consequences being part of this community called.. Not a permanent employee. Hate this so much. ( I believe, soon I will fix this!!! But yeaa.. you have to deal with it until you find a better job or another opportunity to get out of this damn situation). I want something more.. I deserve better than this. God, please help me understand thru all this to the happy ending.
Back to the main topics about judging and life :D. Don’t worry about people’s judge. Do what you can do. Your weapon in this wildlife is not something sophisticated. IT’S YOU. Head to toe. Inside and outside. As I get older.. I saw people without inner strength went to the wrong way of their life. Good inner strength is building the firm mentality and kind heart.
All of this is just my opinion about how to become a survivor in this wildlife. Yeah… my theory. Nila’s theory. I am not teaching you, and this is also my thought to remind myself. Whatever happened in your life.. as long as you have faith.. you’ll be alright.
Believe in yourself. Trying to be a person who lives with a purpose.. remember you are not a robot. Live by your brain and heart and bring it up into action.